If you were dating yourself - what would you do?

“Our mindset can enable us to survive, thrive or hide.  We can literally get stuck or be in constant motion. The mindset will govern whether you eat, how you cope with stress and whether you are capable of giving or receiving love. There are many combinations and areas of our lives where our mindset will play critical roles in our direction of travel. There are multiple polar dynamics where we simple are one mindset or another. For example: some people are always positive, others can be the opposite and could be always negative. Or, some people will always look for the best in others and believe in trusting in people – whereas the opposite can be present where an individual trusts no one and only sees the bad in a person.”


So my suggestion to you is that your mindset can really be liberating or debilitating. That may be obvious – but let’s take the latter to explain the impact and consequences the debilitating mindset has on you. You can stay stuck where you are or be propelled forward with momentum. You can make up your story and believe in the drama you create – living out a reality and existence that doesn’t serve you or the universe. You can also be impacted and controlled by circumstances seemingly out of your control – becoming a victim of external events. Often this leads to denial and blame, feelings of being in a stuck state or not having a choice are common for some people experiencing a debilitating mindset.  You feel almost like a spectator on the sidelines – watching your life disappear or observing others living their best life while you still feel like a passenger or unwilling participant.

On the other hand a liberating mindset or positive mindset can push you forward to have more courage, to be more determined, to have a positive outlook, to drive you and motivate you to take action.  You can literally be on the field of play – participating and playing full out to live your best life.  A positive mindset can also result in you seeing the best in every moment, being present to each and every situation and the learning you can gain from each unique experience.

Of course you can still enjoy the present moment with either mindset, however it is about your perspective.  For example: Your return flight home has been cancelled after a 2 week break, you will have to change your arrangements and rebook the next available flight.  A debilitating mindset would be to focus on the drama and inconvenience – getting angry or frustrated and annoyed about the disruption you will experience.  You may end up being grumpy and feel powerless or lacking control.  However, the liberating mindset would be delighted to be in that present moment and embrace the changes – adapting your plans and organising the revised arrangements to implement the change.  Frankly you are very very unlikely to influence the decision about the flight cancellation – but you can definitely influence and control how you respond, the actions you take and your own behaviour.

So, how do you change your mindset?

There are countless books and recommendations on how do to this.  I’m going to share my method and the reasons why it is effective for me and why my clients use the techniques I teach them.

Firstly, we start with learning how to love yourself and be compassionate with yourself.  This has to be on a cellular level – where you actually feel that love for yourself from the inside.  My next book is all about how to love yourself and why that is so important.  For now, trust that you must feel love for yourself to shift your mindset.  when was the last time you gave yourself permission to have a day off?  When did you last treat yourself to some pampering? If you were dating yourself – what would you do? Where would you go?  Truly feel that love, compassion and connection to your own heart.  Feel that on a cellular level.  You can download the complimentary meditation that supports and guides you through this process – you can find the link here: (insert link)

Secondly, we start with an ‘attitude of gratitude’.  If you can see each experience and each moment as an opportunity for you to learn and grow, then situations become less dramatic and you are less engrossed in your ‘story’.  The reality is the present moment – and that is all you really have.  The past has gone.  The future is not here yet.  All you have is the present moment.  So being present and grateful for each situation will allow you to see the importance of every thing that happens to you.  Everything (and yes I mean everything…) happens for a reason.  I will explain that more in my next book – so hold that thought until the chapter about alignment is written.  If you can practice being thankful for your current life, the present moment for the people you have in your life that are close or who have meaning for you – then you begin to raise your vibrational energy through gratitude.  These two steps alone will empower you to set your mindset in the right structure to prepare you for being the best version of yourself.